I grew up poor . I realised it after I got rich

The state of inferior quality living or insufficient in amount 

I had  felt neither during my beautiful years in my hometown and living off my dad’s slim paychecks

Of course I was aware of white collars minting more cash than the blue collars like my father, but I never was given an instance in my entire life under his budget to feel I was getting any lesser than my richer friends are.

We studied in same schools wore same uniforms played the same sports outside school went to the same shopping center for the necessities

What I was always not permitted was to visit other houses , either play on the streets or in our house

And the vigor with which this rule was laid upon on me I wouldnt dream of doing otherwise

As I was growing up it started to dawn on me that my parents had an authoritarian style of parenting and that all their love was focussed on the protective mode that reflected like a suffocative mode from my side of the grass

It’s much later to be precise after I graduated to parenthood I realised, it wasn’t just a physical protection. It was an insulation against emotional imbalance and social truths

Probably if I was adventurous to break some of the rules , I would have seen and noticed and questioned the differences and maybe developed a personality of inferiority, but since that didn’t happen ignorance was bliss

And thus I say I have yet to realise what  real poverty is and how best to tackle it


The golden cage

H4 – happiness

The widely accepted misnomer rampant in India. Why do I say so?

India is a traditional and cultural country which is impugn for its grand Indian weddings. Impugn due to the way the bride and groom decide to get hitched all the way to the day of entire town whiling the time away at the venue

Digressing from point you think-

On the contrary I’m getting there with these titbits that’ll clarify what I’m about to say further

H4 is a type of visa that goes by the alibi of dependents visa. The main hitch in this is you can stay in USbut not earn -only depend on ur H1b(spouse,parents)earnings.

With the entry of collosal amount of outsourced jobs in IT in india, the economic status of most middle class rose a notch higher .

How this relates to the marriage – 

In India the to be bride and groom  meets for the first round of acquaintance after some pre marketing work by agents/ brokers or by matrimonial sites or through relatives with precipitous sense of responsibility

The pre -marketing and market research about the girl and guy is mostly in concurrence with what they will be worth (financially)

This is where the groom with a H1b visa outshines the other lads and becomes a topper in the market

With this badge it’s easy to line up quite a number of prospective girls to seek alliance

Now this is where the substance of this article begins. Prospective girls are girls who may be financially well settled , graduated and post graduated from well known university, is a self made successful entrepreneur, well placed and on a good career growth in their respective domains all of this but never got to see Umrika 

So when our above said H1b lad shines his crest, everything the girls have achieved so far, all that other dreams of career and financial independence and social life gets overshadowed in the pseudo-sparkle 

Once married they renounce the wonderful life they were leading along with family,friends,job and jump right in to the honeymoon flight to Umrika -land of promises

What they fail to realize and what is never flashed by the fore goers or similar friends is that H4 is a  golden cage. One where all your independence is evanescent.

Why so?

Well for the list:

1.You can’t travel by yourself to anywhere literally to a grocery shop too without driving . Even if u did know to drive ,you need a spare car other than what your H1b drives to office

That pretty much shuts you in 5 days of the week until weekend 

2. Since you don’t drive and you don’t work you don’t meet anyone so you don’t know what are your options for future

3. You don’t have an SSN so no credit card and so no transactions (unlike India , here cards are more common)

4. You cannot opt to study without burning a huge hole in those pockets( so voluntarily retreat from the option too)

5. Online jobs are also illegal and online courses don’t get you anywhere without practical experience

6. You can’t go back home after the initial depression has started to sink in, as the tickets to india burn your savings account

7. Your H1b sees your SAS plight and has applied for a green card process which will eventually get you a work permit like in one year to 5 years or longer

But why the Umrika dreams are alive back home , because no one wants to admit the sad golden cage you are arrested in. You do not want to hurt your parents , who still believes you are in the Land of promises. You do not want your friends to belittle you as you want to maintain that air of hype that was once built

So you just lie there day in day out  and swallow that list like an insomniac pill and sleep over it to fly to your own land of dreams

Moon hunt

Mommy…..Where’s the moon!!! 

The moon!!! Look …it’s gone!!!

I can’t see it…..Look ….Do u see it??

It was there yesterday…It’s gone today?

Where do u think it’s disappeared?

Let’s ask Mr.neighbor….Do u think he saw it….I’m sure he did he’s always looking up and dreaming

No he didn’t see it too….How could that be mom?

Do you think Jacky next door was barking at it…..I’m sure he scared the moon away….C’mon mom let’s ask doggy if he scared away the moon

No mom he’s asking me the same thing back….If I saw it

Mom do you think it ran away or …..

What mommy …U say it’s on a holiday!!

But he didn’t tell me

…He’s just gone!!

Never seen so much wonderment in a life for something so simple….And yet there I was wondering at my little ones face of surprise,shock or intrigue. I was just there taking in the whole moment and also trying to come up with instantaneous and witty answers 

And I did say Mr.moon’s gone to sleep or Mr.moon’s annoyed at kids not having dinner hence hiding or that hes playing peek a boo
But when is it and why is it we start answering playfully or answer  kiddish stuff , when it’s easier to just say the real answer..The moon is waned and it will return after a few days in full roundness ..

There as simple as that and then return to answer more sub questions.

Is it because we want them to stop cross questioning or simply because we think their brain can’t get what we say. Either reason we are wrong I say

The more we explain the earlier the smarter they can think when they grow up . It’s easier to learn new and right than to unlearn and learn again for the tiny brains.

So let’s trace the moon back to them in an easy straight way:)

Gone case


#dailypost #shootingstar

A few seconds before I could begin typing this the page was gone.

This got me frustrated to imagine starting a page all over. But before I could start cursing my technical or blogical incompetency , the edit tab appeared again causing my rising temper to be gone

Now that’s two things gone so far….Oops theres the third one…. (Giggles)

No seriously I begin to wonder if I can I survive at this rate with the next generation,who is feeding on touchscreens and voice commands and here I am learning to write(edit)a blog. Isn’t technology a little far gone that it’s stealthily fading lines between humans and humanity and we are so excited by each new e-stuff that all the o-stuff(I meant ossum) is vaporising

Oh now again why can’t I stick to the topic and as always de rail to a nonsense that starts making absolute sense that finally I am gone from whatever we were talking about right now

If you stood by me to read upto here I must say you are a gone case just like me(Giggles) but a tolerant one not a martyr though

Dishwasher dias

Dinners done, clean up the table , shift leftovers to fridge , warm some water, aprons tied, begin dish washing , the only work I worship .

Ever since I turned old enough to lend a hand to  mommy dearest in the kitchen,apart from peeling the garlic this is one job I’ve not missed attendance on.

And why do I love doing it, as this entire action takes about an hour (when I started off) , and there’s no movement involved, I get to stay in a place and just look straight (well straight ahead is the  road and a early to bed neighbor) and shut off all external chaos at home to some moments of reflection.

Now mostly these reflections surfaces some stuffs I could have done but didn’t care to do , some interesting snippets of conversations , some glimpses flashing from the day and of course some resolutions for the next.

Whats more beautiful than reliving a day throughout?

Training a group of gurus – static to dynamic growth

In a renowned school of international syllabi , the oppurtunity to grow professionally was immense( infact an explosion of growth)

Though I havent worked in schools of common calibre or the more common public schools , it has often made me wonder  if my own teachers had reached a point of saturation by repeated monotonous pouring of the exact same information year after year .teachers of the highest experience in terms of work or in terms of age has oftentimes lead me to distractions of thought . thoughts that mostly scream that they the instructors or teachers are highly contempt on this feild and would definitely would like to move on if not ahead in life. Changes would be inviting.

But what if the direction of change is from the newer end of the strata , will it be as inviting as forethought

Well, i see two scenarios here. I have faced only two hence two, there could be more type of expected oservations

Scene 1:

A group of teachers from the static schools – schools where profesional development and payscale has been not quite dynamic to the extent of a motivaion.

These teachers have often been recognised year after year as individuals who can produce high end results. they have also been recognised for their year of “selfless service towards education”

Now i wonder if suddenly these teachers were exposed to a new environment and expect them to be high performers just as they were, what percentage of them would be?

What would drive them to get there?

Scene 2 :

A group of high energy teachers not so experience in terms of work or age , but willing to learn or explore evvery avenue that crosses their path.

Now these are professionals from a dynamic environment – an institution that fosters professional growth that will be tagged with increasing payscales on performance

If these individuals are suddenly thrown into an arena of a new resources or process, will they face it with as less as resistance as possible. Will their dynamic promotional environment driv them to face up new recurring changes?

Christmas growing up

xmas-picture-1Jingle bells and Santa claus are my earliest memories of christmas.To this day my mind rings up this song and this old mans face for the word christmas.

But at the time when life hits a quarter century one starts looking back a little and sees that as you grew up, along grew Christmas

The earliest christmas memories starts from the school that calls for less classes and more practice sessions and back home start collecting hay for making crib,although all I remember about hay is my kitty curling up in it to stay warm and we siblings curling up with the kittens to have some fun

As we got into early teens shopping for the latest trends and playing the secret santa gave us headsup on the seasons feelings.  At that age passing secret letters, inviting giggles and disrupting the whole peace of class gave a sense of achievement and christmassy feel. back home catching up with cousins ,planning a masterplan for a room sized crib panning till the eve of christmas eve and finally freaking out and getting a prototype of the masterplan out , again feeling achieved.

College christmas meant getting yourself invited to as many parties as possible to maximise socialising and also as everyone is on a gleefully happy note ,its also the time of many friendships-a-blooming and many a relationships on fire. At home it becomes imperative to try out every cake recipes that is shown on the christmas specials and share it with every neighbor who you know will comment on it positively although you know exactly they wont ask another piece of it.

At a higher academic level,  december was scheduled to be the month of semester exams,phd entrance exams, placement trainings and prayers for a astounding career, back home christmas was finding excuses to not build cribs and to not mae cakes but scooting to non christian homes for a group study for the exams and a simple famly christmas dinner.Though the silence has crept in christmas , your parents play along as they realise your future hangs on those critical moments of december and so they choose to postpone christmas to new year eve

The following years christmas is a season of celabration as you always saw it on TV with lots of lights all over your house, a readymade crib and a decked up christmas tree and lots of gift exchanges and lot more cratons of food . It is a rich mans christmas as there are more earning hands and fresh oness that are spendthrifts

And if you got married meanwhile , then Christmas is all about relative bonding time , its the time of year you are again meeting that aunt and uncle who you beamed at on the wedding day and never again saw. Christmas is a time now to return to your now silent household(as you have taken much of the noise away with you to the inlaws) is now a time of rejoice for your parents as they see you after a long break and for them it is a christmas truly at heart  🙂