The golden cage

H4 – happiness

The widely accepted misnomer rampant in India. Why do I say so?

India is a traditional and cultural country which is impugn for its grand Indian weddings. Impugn due to the way the bride and groom decide to get hitched all the way to the day of entire town whiling the time away at the venue

Digressing from point you think-

On the contrary I’m getting there with these titbits that’ll clarify what I’m about to say further

H4 is a type of visa that goes by the alibi of dependents visa. The main hitch in this is you can stay in USbut not earn -only depend on ur H1b(spouse,parents)earnings.

With the entry of collosal amount of outsourced jobs in IT in india, the economic status of most middle class rose a notch higher .

How this relates to the marriage – 

In India the to be bride and groom  meets for the first round of acquaintance after some pre marketing work by agents/ brokers or by matrimonial sites or through relatives with precipitous sense of responsibility

The pre -marketing and market research about the girl and guy is mostly in concurrence with what they will be worth (financially)

This is where the groom with a H1b visa outshines the other lads and becomes a topper in the market

With this badge it’s easy to line up quite a number of prospective girls to seek alliance

Now this is where the substance of this article begins. Prospective girls are girls who may be financially well settled , graduated and post graduated from well known university, is a self made successful entrepreneur, well placed and on a good career growth in their respective domains all of this but never got to see Umrika 

So when our above said H1b lad shines his crest, everything the girls have achieved so far, all that other dreams of career and financial independence and social life gets overshadowed in the pseudo-sparkle 

Once married they renounce the wonderful life they were leading along with family,friends,job and jump right in to the honeymoon flight to Umrika -land of promises

What they fail to realize and what is never flashed by the fore goers or similar friends is that H4 is a  golden cage. One where all your independence is evanescent.

Why so?

Well for the list:

1.You can’t travel by yourself to anywhere literally to a grocery shop too without driving . Even if u did know to drive ,you need a spare car other than what your H1b drives to office

That pretty much shuts you in 5 days of the week until weekend 

2. Since you don’t drive and you don’t work you don’t meet anyone so you don’t know what are your options for future

3. You don’t have an SSN so no credit card and so no transactions (unlike India , here cards are more common)

4. You cannot opt to study without burning a huge hole in those pockets( so voluntarily retreat from the option too)

5. Online jobs are also illegal and online courses don’t get you anywhere without practical experience

6. You can’t go back home after the initial depression has started to sink in, as the tickets to india burn your savings account

7. Your H1b sees your SAS plight and has applied for a green card process which will eventually get you a work permit like in one year to 5 years or longer

But why the Umrika dreams are alive back home , because no one wants to admit the sad golden cage you are arrested in. You do not want to hurt your parents , who still believes you are in the Land of promises. You do not want your friends to belittle you as you want to maintain that air of hype that was once built

So you just lie there day in day out  and swallow that list like an insomniac pill and sleep over it to fly to your own land of dreams

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